♥ Monday, October 30, 2006 ♥
8:56:00 PM
i'm in an ultra foul mood. my brain isnt functionin well now. i cant believe it but the truth is tt i slept at 4am this morning and i've to wake up at 5.45 to go sch. so, i'm feeling super pathetic now and i still had this freaking chinese papers for today. and guess wad? my parents quarrelled today again over me taking chinese. like wad's wrong wif my mum la. it's MY own decision to retake it again.... quarrel wif my dad for wad la. argh. spoilt my morning atmosphere.
my brain was actually functionin well in the morning and to the afternoon. then after attempting my amath tys i really seh already. i started doing stupid stuffs which i dunnoe la. and then i ended up not doing anything la. probably i was pretty stressed up.
then when chinhui and i left sch i started talking how much i'm gg to miss this sch. i dunnoe y lah, but i probably miss most of my grad teachers. definately most my sec 3 and sec 4 teachers. is like the bond is there.. i noe if i say i miss this sch u ppl might think i'm mad (which i think i'm) but i really is gg miss this sch.. not the facilities of cuz, but the precious moments i had in this four years and all the good teachers i've got.. who never gave up on me..
TPSS have really mould me into wad i'm right now. i've some wonderful friends who lead me along my first year. in this sch, i've conquere my fears, learn how to stand and look at people. i've understood tt as long as one work hard, he or she will definately get what he or she wants. teachers may have biasedness due to the class u are in.. but if u work hard and get into a better class, they no longer dispised u.. but instead u became someone tt they trusted. perhaps none of u peeps understand all this.. but, only gg through all this can let u grow stronger and tougher. thus, evelyn have grown stronger throughout this four years.
slowly, i began to stand on my own feet as my wings learn to sore in the azure blue sky. i wiped away all those tears tt rolled down my cheeks each time i fell down. but all my frens, my teachers helped me up and i stood up again, each time stronger than before.
the lil girl who was always sheltered by her mummy wasnt shy anymore. she learnt to talk and to understand others. she learnt leadership and teamwork through her teachers, who have willingly gave her a chance to perform well in the four years. one of her friends taught her many new things and she brought her many joy and laughters. through this friend of hers, she learn how to stand strong and stop whinning over small stuffs. her fears of being betrayed were soon left out. and together wif 2 other friends, she lead a happy life. and they are yutian, sujun and jingting.
quarrels and jealously were part of her life. despite laying her trust on people whom she trusted, she knew her trust had been betrayed. but nevertheless, she still give the person another chance and once again she was betrayed even worse. her friend was in a worse state than wad she is and she gave her all her trust from tt day onwards ans she's none other than chinhui.
i have other gd friends such as esther, simin, jon and junwei and my partners such as le chiben, andrew, hweehuan, cindy, jean, fanye etc
being a traffic light for a long period of time, i guessed it's time for me to retire and stop being tt person's traffic light. i supposed she have got the person who'll b listening to all her stuffs and whereas me, i shall be the person who'll b looking at her at a faraway distance.
♥ Friday, October 27, 2006 ♥
9:39:00 PM
so much things i didnt know.. but it's okay. i trust my own judgements. i use my eyes to see, not my ears to listen to gossips and rumours. i'm no angel.. i know. but at least i'm sure, i dun bitch ard the corners. yeah. at least i dun fake stuffs like i like a person when in fact i dun. i show it thru my face.
there was this girl i knew though one of my ex close friend. okay, then is like the least is like we'll say 'hi' and 'bye' stuffs. perhaps not to the extend that we speak our problems. but still we did talk la. then, i had quarrels wif rather lots of ppl (okay, only 2) and it happened that this girl know the both ppl whom i quarrel wif and they were rather close. and now she sees me and acted as if i'm invisible!! =/ i didnt do anything wrong in the first place.
and i'm ultra sure. cuz all my long-terms quarrels are reasonable stuffs. and dun forget, i stand on justice, not on the amount of friendship. i can quarrel wif my frens over justice too. i wasnt standing on anyone's side in the first place. but since childish ppl wants to play childish games, i'll do it too. afterall, they are kids.. isnt it? ;)
physics pract sucks great time. =/ the only chance of getting a better grade is like *poof*, gone. oh dear. now i've to buck up on my physics..... cuz it seems tt i dun understand questions from the tys for chemistry. omg.
chinese will begin next mon.. and i've sort of lost touch for chinese! OMG. i cant even like write basic chinese words. can i jus have oral instead?? lols. all the same, i'll do my best to cope wif the upcoming paper.. chem practs will b the next. followed by the major papers. wish me luck then!
and i say i miss mr d. so, who believe?
♥ Wednesday, October 25, 2006 ♥
9:35:00 PM
O level is really around the corners! i cant believe it. and tmr's phsics practical already. i really hope i dun screw up anything. i'm afraid of screwing up.. but mdm lim says must have confidence in myself. and i need to have a good sleep. seriously, i think i'm lacking of sleep cuz my black eye rings tells me so! but i dun think i'm lacking my sleep actually. no matter wad, i'm gg to sleep at 1o? and hopefully i can wake up by 1o tmr. i dun wan to wake up so early..
we shant have too high expectations. we shant b thinking too much of the future. we, as human beings should be working on the present. not the past or the future. this lessens the agony of disappointments and heartbreaks. isnt it so? i hate getting disapointed over stuffs that have been happening recently.. especially since O is near and i dun want my morale to run low.
have been rather close wif the guys this few days. meeting for breakfast each day. BUT i really hate to see tt person la! he's super irritating and he's like getting on my nerve. bloody hell. how i wished he could jus disappear from the world. i have had enough. and i dun intend to reconcile with him. i dun give a damn about it. 4 years of friendship will b gone in a wink of an eye. provoke me, and tt's the end.
i hate the feeling of being sandwiched by two parties. argh. i'm super sick and tired over all this. is like one is my right hand and the other is my left. how can they not coordinate wif one another? then how am i supposed to live when they are moving in different direction?
CHINJUNWEI. i'm very angry wif u. i swear i'll burst if u ever do this to me again. i bet miss tan and miss chua is very shocked when they saw me. cuz i noe i'm super tulan. to the extend tt i can kill u even wif the stare i have. and u ought u to thankful i didnt have a chopper wif me.. or else u will b in pieces now.
i find myself unable to concentrate over the 'O'. everytime when i decided i shall open my geo or history book, i ended up having a super headache. i really hate this feeling. is like it's the last and final run after 1o years of education. the final lap. and now.. things are like this. it's the FINAL LAP. i have survived ten years of MOE education. this is my one and only chance to perform well.
no more black outs like wad happened four years ago for science paper.
no more careless mistakes wif regards to math-related papers
no more 'oh shit, i didnt study'
no more sleeping in the hot and humid hall
ganbatte to all those taking O this year. give ur best shot and God will bring u through this. i know this cuz i will do my best and i'm sure God will bring me through. i've experience this before and i've absolute fate in him=)
♥ Sunday, October 22, 2006 ♥
10:56:00 PM
i used to take things as it comes and goes
friends are just like traffic lights to me
cuz i jus dun seemed to keep up wif them
often ending wif a quarrel or a backstabbing story
when i really want to stop all these stuffs
a knight came into my way
and brought me light
fun days were the times when happy moments were shared
despite of a hectic schedue we had
we never failed to meet each other
and bright up the other person's day
that period of time
i managed to smile happily
and took of tt face mask of mine
i just wanna keep that smile as long as ever
i dun ever wan to wear a face mask anymore
it hurts to act
trying to b happy was a torture
i always see an ugly monster when i looked into the mirror
and it seems tt it's crying rather badly
the feeling was bad
as in very bad
nobody knew how u feel
or even bothered
no matter how much i try to find tt person
it seems fate doesnt permits
or perhaps we arent supposed to meet in the first place
the whole thing was just like an accident
from the start
we wasnt even supposed to meet
i shldnt been so kind to help lai tie balloon
i shldnt have waited for ? (i cant rmb.. is it cindy?)
we shldnt have exchanged numbers
nor to meet in the canteen
but the error carried on
we ended up watching concerts
taking wrong buses
thus landing in orchard
and taking a long cab back home
u shldnt have been so nice in the first place
then nothing of all this shld even have happen
perhaps i've been a bitch to say this
but really
i'm the one suffering
not u
how do u noe how it feels to b in this manner
have u even placed urself into my shoes?
i'm a girl
please give me back my diginity
and everything
but i admit
u have really been nice
far too nice in tt relationship
but
when the relation have ended
u shooed me away as if i'm some disease
is this the way how u treat a person?
i doubt so.
10:30:00 PM
i'm bored.
i'm stressed.
few more weeks i can work
i can have a break
i can party out
i can b freed from books
so jiayou lyn
u can do it
u CAN do it
nothing is impossible
impossible is nothing
take it for once and for all
not and never to disappoint anyone
rmb all those wonderful teachers?
they have always pinned high hopes on u
miss tan, mdm yap, all those tpss, tuition teachers
perhaps mr d as well?
so wad if u are just in a neighbouringhood sch?
it DOESNT give u an excuse to rot
nor an excuse not getting gd results
it shld b a motivation for u
u have good teachers
perhaps even better than those in gd sch
jus that the students there are more hardworking
they are more focused.
and tt's all
so u shld do it the same way too.
isnt it?
and my mum finally allows me to work after 'o'
HOW GOOD CAN THIS GET?
woo hoo~
i wanna shout this out:
I LOVE MY BABE(:
u sure noe who u are..
♥ Thursday, October 19, 2006 ♥
8:34:00 AM
i'm VERY frustrated.
but the problem is tt i dunnoe over wad.
i jus dun noe wad's wrong.
perhaps it's the o
18 more days to the official paper
excluding cheena and the practs
hopefully i dun screwed up my practs
or any papers
i might jus kill myself
i always had high hopes on my studies
and there's my mum
and all the teachers
i dun wan to disappoint anyone anymore
talk is cheap
but who can help me now?
i'm really trying my best to study hard
but nothing seems to get into my mind
especially physics and my humanities
physics seemed far too hard for me
i tink i might b letting go of the subject already
i noe i'm letting mdm lim down
cuz she hope tt i can get a b
and now i'm saying i wan to drop the subj
geo looks easy
but everytime i ended up misread the whole question
and getting a zero
i wan to score for geo
especially the book 4 one
i tink i need help in the book 3
helps anyone? =)
as for combined humanities
i hope i can get better than geo
so tt instead of geo
i shall use SH
but SH isnt gg to b easy
unless the questions tt came out
were the ones shahril pointed
or i think can go die liao
and of cuz
i shant slack in my maths
they are my hopes
and i really wan to score 1 for emath
and have a 2 for amath or even 1
chinese also
hopefully my money is worth it
let me get my one
then for humanities and sciences
i dun ask for a lot
jus 3 for them
then i'm happy alr
physics practical is coming in one week
then followed wif chem pract
next will b chinese and it goes on
not really prepared to take o
but i cant help thinking wad i'm gg to do after tt
cuz it's the end for pri sch too
so i can find ms tan alr
i really miss her lots =)
♥ Monday, October 16, 2006 ♥
8:01:00 AM
the haze is here again. so everyone please, please take good care of urself especially those taking the 'o' this year =)
♥ Saturday, October 14, 2006 ♥
8:45:00 AM
i dunnoe wad got over me.
u are jus a past and nothing else more.
i dunnoe why;
but i ended up crushing up
which i've never done it before.
i made myself looking some silly person
or shld the word 'idiot' be more apporiate?
i'm rather confused
yet there wasnt anyone who's leading me out of the dark
i understood wad u are trying to say
take it tt i'm confused by the change in tone and everything
take it tt i dunnoe y u are saying this.
or u can think tt i'm fed up wif each and single change tt was made
perhaps u have always been like this
the person who got wrong was jus ME only
mayb all along I'M jus the one who doesnt noe u
or had protray a good image about u
which everything was jus so fake
tt's y i fell down again
this time deeper than the last time
now it required a larger force to pull me out of this
it's as though i had fallen into a pool of mud
if it's too late, then i might b drown inside there
and i will b able to free myself from pain
i wished i could jus let go of my hands
i might suffer from the sinking in the mud and the lack of O2
but it will jus b a while
then i can really leave this world
one wrong step and i'll b gone
♥ Friday, October 13, 2006 ♥
9:50:00 PM
i love u darl (:
darl is pretty.
darl is nice.
=))
got back report book today. wad can i say? expected this outcome already. so nothing much to say. other than i'm quite happy wif my english . thot i get C6 or mayb D7. but in the end got C5 =) drop alot in add math. i shldnt b doin this! grrrrr. my humanities and sciences sucks too .. all C5 and C6, with physics D7. i only failed physics! YAY! but i'm not gg to fail physics for 'o' or else my sis will laugh until she die=(
cca got B4.. not bad to start wif since i'm in a club. one point minus for o already . woo hoo .
i found someone which engRISH is very bad. my ft =P cuz instead of engLISH, he said engRISH and i followed him. hahaha.
then there was a teacher who was so angry with my class.. reason being we didnt stand up and greet her! ROAR. actually, we did tt oftenly wad . then say we want to 'kick her out' jus b cuz today is the last day of our sch day. then when i greeted her (which i usually do) then she diao at me lor! GRRR. chinhui was totally pissed off.
argh. today is last day of sch. we goanna leave this sch like few more weeks ? life kinda fast. i still vividly rmbed the first day when i entered this wulu sch, how i survived the stress and pressure, how we had to endure the different eyes each teacher gave us jus because we are in a worst class.. all those biasedness made each and every one to aim, to wish to get into a better class and strive hard, etc . this sch really mould me into wad i'm.
to mdm phua gave me a chance to lead and to take up responsibility. something which i can never forget. always helping me despite of her busy-ness.
to miss picca play a role too.. being my sec3 ft, entrusting her trust in me. and we always gossip.. hahha.. think aft o go and visit her.. it's a must k... she's always so nice.. i dun think i can forget her liao..
to mr shahril.. the emperor. always so nice towards my class.. hope he'll stay strong and live well :)
to ah lai for being so fun and guiding me in chemistry. who always give me chances to bully.. hahaha.
to mdm lim for always guidin and having patience towards 4e3, who were alwayys noisy, rowdy and irritating and never work hard for physics at all.. never try for tests or else end up copying etc
to shi lao shi for being my cheena teacher for so long.. 4 long years. luckily i wasnt her target.. but it was junwei.. hahha
to mr bernard chew for being my geo teachers for less than 2 years. but it was NICE NICE NICE. though he once scolded my class for giving in rubbish work (test) which i failed twice..
to mr owyong, ms joanna, mrs vai for being my wonderful PE teachers! luckily my rival didnt teach in this 4 years.. hahhaha (for which i thank god....)
to mdm ho for being nice to me too ............
all those i can rmb liao.. cant help if i forget.. hehee
not forgetting all my wonderful frens! u rawks (:
♥ Thursday, October 12, 2006 ♥
7:42:00 PM
went to genki but they dun have buffet
wanted fish and co's but it seemed ex
wanted to go cafe catel but like super alot of food which will kill us
so we ended up going SWENSEN'S -woo hoo~
so the three crazy people went swensens to eat . chua and me eat fish and chips and chinhui eating something like chicken chop. it was nice nice nice la. soup of the day (which is corn), main course, ICE CREAM .
chua claimed tt she went there for ice cream only -.- and we took quite some pic there (: nice nice nice. put them when the bluetooth adaptor have been fixed k?
after eating the super full and nice meal, we went to this fashion cuz all of us need a walk to jian fei la! then chua went to try some clothes.. blah blah blah. then we went CS to take neoprint then go home liao .
♥ Sunday, October 08, 2006 ♥
5:54:00 PM
but no doubt, i have a wonderful time in the bus .
i thought daddy had jus left the house to eat at 487 there . so i slowly took my bath , brush my teeth and wash my face . then i pack my bag and i decided to call my dad . he took super long to pick up the phone which got me so frustrated . nevertheless, my dad answered the phone . THEN, i realised he didnt come home for the entire night . the entire night u noe .. i was so fed up + pissed off . he wasnt working .. he went DRINKING u noe ! fuck la . i hate hardcore alcoholic . let me repeat, I HATE HARDCORE ALCOHOLIC . then in the end, i didnt get to eat my xiao long bao . =(
so freaking angry then i just took my stuffs out and went to take a bus for my tuition . luckily 28 came almost immediately when i reached the bus stop or else i'll start cursing already . then at 417 bus stop, there was this malay uncle who came up the bus wif alot of stuffs and he sat beside me and bloody hell, his stuffs keep bumping into me . but nvm , i'm alighting at the regional library bus stop, which is the next stop .
crossing over the road , i waited for 27 to arrive .. it was only like 3 minutes later it came ? so lucky la =) then i reached the airport . then i saw the bus 36 just went . argh . then i waited like a fool there for 1o to 15 minutes ? and the bus came .. had a long but interesting ride . okay, i admit : i can b a country pumkim at times ..
then i saw the VICTORIA CONCERT HALL . grew a lil excited and remembered about lynette's concert . it was funny la . tt was one of the happiest moment i have .. nothing much occured on the bus ride ..
the cooling and quiet bus ride really make me think hard on him* and the days we spent . perhaps everything was jus as deciving as it was , jus like how mdm ho used to say "the girls in ur class (4e3) are deciving". it's true, even in friendship the start is always the sweetest . but in the long run, it's hard to have the sweetie-ness lasting eternally . so for love life , it's the same . but i've seen really long long relationship where sweetie-ness last . not naming who cause he always come my blog, not tagging =P but yea, tt person is really sweet .. so i hope he and his "her" last .. which i think is very possible =)
on the way when i was blasting my music, then suddenly i feel as though i'm in great pain . somehow it feels as though i had a heart attack or something . it really feels uncomfortable . it must be the song .
tuition sucks .. everyone's results is so way better than mine . angelina darling got 14 points for L1R5 , haven minus 4 points for cca and higher chinese . so tt makes it only 1o . and 1o X 2 =2o and i have more than 2o . so yeah , how zi bei can i get ? and she's from st marg's . which is way better than tampines sec . and she's like getting good results than me . i'm demoralised . and seems like everyone got way better than me la =(
haze is gone , or at least it's so much better today . ytd was 15o for the PSI . but now seems like it tone down alot .. thanks to the wind .. not coughing alot now .. which is like a very good sign =)
if it was u who text me, then i'd b happy. and to be the little girl who smiled so sweetly . but again, i was disappointed time and time again . the person i dun wan to text me texted me, asking me to take care . why cant it b u ? why must i be the person who had to initate time and time again ? i grew so sick and tired of everything till i wanted to erase u completely from my memory . but i cant do it , and i shall not do it . cuz it's jus like cutting myself thinly a piece by a piece and the blood jus dun seemed to stop .
♥ Saturday, October 07, 2006 ♥
6:02:00 PM
let's hope it b gone soon .
or i might b dead pretty fast .
i dun have asthma
but i have VERY sensitive nose .
i hate burning smell
and i hate having the feeling of smoke particles
jus as bad as having a smoker beside me
but having a smoker , obviously is worse .
it stinks more .
but having jasmine smell isnt as good either .
hahahhas .
i'm getting back to the crazy person
the one who 's racist =X
probably not jus u , i've changed too ..
♥ Thursday, October 05, 2006 ♥
8:33:00 PM
so should i or shld i not ?
to noe the truth or to believe in fairytales happening .
take a day to think .. whether i shld or shldnt .
i tink i shld noe the truth .
but i'm not too sure whether i'll end up crying like mad
or becoming overly high .. for fear of being found out the real me .
i need lots of tissue papers just in case .
wad shld i do if i noe the truth which wont make me smile ?
perhaps really to let go ?
i shld do it ..
but i noe i cant .
wad shld i do ?
but if the truth makes me smile
wont it b better to noe the truth .
so cheer up lyn .
life isnt the end of it yet
there're still wonderful things we can do
not jus on certain stuffs
we have frens
we have family
they'd always b there for u *like real
oh, and a happy early b'dae to PRINCESS esther chua
*it's a self-proclaimed princess actually ..
=))
♥ Wednesday, October 04, 2006 ♥
6:15:00 PM
The Story Of An Emperor
Once upon a time an emperor decided that if he knew the answers to three questions, he would always know what to do, no matter what. The questions were these:
When is the best time to do things?
Who are the most important people?
What is the most important thing?
The emperor offered a big reward for the right answers to these questions, and he received many, but none satisfied him. Finally, he decided to travel to the top of the mountain to visit an old hermit who would perhaps know the right answers. When he reached the hermit, the emperor asked his three questions. The hermit, digging in his garden, listened attentively and said nothing. He returned to his digging. As the emperor watched him, he noticed how tired the old man seemed. "Here," he said, "give me the spade and I'll dig while you rest." So the hermit rested and the emperor dug. After several hours, the emperor was very tired. He put down the spade and said: "If you can't answer my questions, that's all right. Just tell me and I'll take my leave." "Do you hear someone running?" the hermit asked suddenly, pointing to the edge of the woods. Sure enough, a man came tumbling out of the woods, clutching his stomach. He collapsed as the hermit and the emperor reached him. Opening the man's shirt, they saw that he had a deep cut. The emperor cleaned the wound, using his own shirt to bind it. Regaining consciousness, the man asked for water. The emperor hurried to a nearby stream and brought him some. The man drank gratefully, then slept. The hermit and the emperor carried the man into the hut and lay him on the hermit's bed. By this time the emperor was exhausted too, and he fell asleep.
The next morning when the emperor awoke, he saw the wounded man staring down at him. "Forgive me," the man whispered. "Forgive you?" said the emperor, sitting up wide awake. "What have you done that needs my forgiveness?" "You do not know me, your majesty, but I have thought of you as my sworn enemy. During the last war you killed my brother and took away my lands." The man went on to explain that he had been lying in ambush, waiting for the emperor to come back down the mountain when one of the emperor's attendants recognized him as an enemy and gave him a painful wound. "I fled, but if you hadn't helped me when you did, I surely would have died. I had planned to kill you. Instead, you saved my life! I am ashamed and very grateful." The emperor was glad to hear the story and restored the man's land. After the man left, the emperor looked at the hermit and said: "I must leave now. I shall travel everywhere looking for the answers to my questions." The hermit laughed and said, "Your questions are already answered, your majesty." The hermit explained that if the emperor had not helped to dig in the garden but had simply hurried off in search of his answers, he would have been killed on the way down the mountain. "The most important time for you was the time you were digging in my garden. The most important person was myself, the person you were with, and the most important thing was simply to help me," added the hermit."And later, when we met the wounded man who came up the mountain, the most important time was that spent tending his wound, for otherwise he would have died ? and you would not have become friends. And he was at that moment the most important person in the world, and the most important pursuit was tending his wound."
"The present moment is the only moment," the hermit continued. "The most important person is always the person you are with. And the most important pursuit is making the person standing at your side happy. What could be simpler or more important?"
- adapted from mr d =D
♥ Sunday, October 01, 2006 ♥
5:06:00 PM
- i can see myself in the coffin; DEAD .
nothing much to blog as a matter of fact .
too lazy to post pictures la .
so let my blog rot a lil =)